@NYC_Blonde: A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend knows the password to your phone so they can delete all your nude selfies if you die
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [Microsoft Outlook developer meeting] "we need to tell users when their inbox is full" how do we do that? "we send them another email" nice
@HomeProbably: Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away.
@LosLos__: Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.