@rolldiggity: A fun prank if your roommate is a cartoon character is to draw clothes on the mirror so he leaves the house not realizing he's naked.
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@VaguelyFunnyDan: When my toddlers ask where mommy is, I explain that she's gone to heaven. That way they're super-excited when she gets back from the gym.
@Fickle_Filly: Colleagues who feel the need to say "You either love me or hate me!" are oblivious to the fact that it's always the latter.
@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.
@ch000ch: if u hear ur roommate using ur beard trimmer in the bathroom but they come out and look exactly the same u should buy a new beard trimmer