@Laser_Cat: A fun prank to pull on a neighbor is to introduce a species of invasive grass into his lawn.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity.
@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@CelebrityChez: Just realized after two years that my boss is actually a grapefruit covered in ramen noodles with peanut eyes. Still very afraid of him.
@fmanjoo: In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt people and it's not two spaces after a period.