@Laser_Cat: A fun prank to pull on a neighbor is to introduce a species of invasive grass into his lawn.
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@boring_as_heck: Shit. Damn it. A bumper sticker just changed my entire worldview, again. This happens like 3 times a day.
@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
@SteveDutzy: *Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*
@PaulyPeligroso: If the light turns green & the guy behind you honks cause he thinks you're taking too long to go get out & start checking your tire pressure