@deardilettante: A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol.
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@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late 5) Too many dragons 4) Out of dragons 3) I'm not late, Steve is 2) Time is fake 1) Made a list of excuses
@ChrisScarlette: May I pay you handsomely, good sir? -Why yes you may. *opens wallet* *pulls out Ryan Gosling*
@TheDailySchmuck: *wakes up after all night party* *rolls over* *rolls over* *rolls over* How did I get on this escalator?
@curlycomedy: If you watch someone kissing in public for too long you become what's weird about it.