@deardilettante: A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol.
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@KingRainhead: date: i had fun tonight me: me too me: *mashes mouth against one cheek & slowly drags it across their whole face* me: that's how slugs kiss
@Try2StopME: My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family. So I dated her sister..
@Darlainky: You undercook one turkey, and suddenly Thanksgiving can't be at your house anymore. -me giving holiday hosting advice