@deardilettante: A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol.
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@Ohgoddessitsme: When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster.
@BadJordon: [Arby's] BRO [jumping into car]: GO ME: it's lunch, not a bank heist B: they put EXTRA CURLY FRIES in the bag M: OMG I'm too pretty for jail
@cool_as_heck: Her: I have Netflix if you wanna come watch a movie :) Me: No it's ok, I have my own account [60 years later on deathbed] Me: Wait a minute