@TheRolo: A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.
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@Try2StopME: Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.
@Mr_Kapowski: [kid's party] Me: Can we leave? These things take forever Wife: *harsh whisper* Shut your mouth. Watch our daughter open her presents