@hpb777: A fun way to find bleach in your coffee is to tell me I'm turning into my mother.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@somecleverthing: Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now.
@CaptainJerkwad: Hate being a funeral director "why'd u take the job?" I inherited it from my dad "You could've just declined it" And lose my first customer?
@WilliamAder: Turned off my lights for "earth hour". I've never had so many other cars honking at me.