@hpb777: A fun way to find bleach in your coffee is to tell me I'm turning into my mother.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: We're all out of beef CHEF: In that case, I need you to grill the chicken ME [rolling sleeves up] you think that little shit knows something?
@TheRohiniReddy: Guys, I only wanna hear about your ex if she is dead.If you still talk about her, I'll murder her so we can have an interesting conversation
@3sunzzz: Me: Put on your seatbelt. 13: Do I have to? Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield 13: cool Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!
@StarrsWar: No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex.