@hpb777: A fun way to find bleach in your coffee is to tell me I'm turning into my mother.
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@Not_From_Troy: When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
@MenHumor: Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face.
@AllyBallyBeal: Guy across the road can't get his truck started. Now he's rolled up his sleeves. That's how you start trucks. By rolling up your sleeves.