@hpb777: A fun way to find bleach in your coffee is to tell me I'm turning into my mother.
@neonorchid1: I wish "it's the thought that counts" worked for housework.
@DumbConfessions: *jumps from plane*
*grabs onto flying squirrel*
*lives to tell the tale*
@murrman5: sorry I broke up with you in the middle of a corn maze
@MoneypennyNaked: I really need someone to follow me around Target to say "No. No. Put that back. You don't need that. You already have 4 of those at home."
@Coastiefish: I just walked through a spiderweb and invented the next Macarena.