@fightforfood: A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, "I don't speak dog," and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently.
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@Death_Buddy: ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? "Haha a man obviously" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*
@iamspacegirl: 'Nothing like a real book' I say 'The scent, pages between my fingers- cracking the spine!' My tree girlfriend's parents sway uncomfortably
@Parkerlawyer: My daughter said I was too old for over-the-knee boots so I bought two pair and told her she was too young to borrow them.