@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
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@CherBear162: "Remember Robert from work?" Yeah..he was a douche. "He died." WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!
@trojansauce: LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no
@lisaxy424: I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled.
@ShortSleeveSuit: [on an airplane] Me: Is the pilot any good? Flight attendant: One of the best Me: [winks] How about the rest of the season?