@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
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@AHundredElbows: [at pet store] "This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?" "No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."
@HeidiCF8: I'm going to write "I miss you" on a rock. Then throw it at your face. I just want you to know how much it hurts..