@WineMummy: A game of cat and mouse, but it's just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes.
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@adamlucidi: All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won.
@upsidedowntrash: WIFE: Hey why are all our potatoes dressed in tiny outfits and arranged in a little scene? ME: [hiding Photato Album] Why? Do you like it?
@rablivingstone: Learn how to read a book again simply by sticking a twitter Avi alongside every paragraph.......
@meganamram: Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies