@ieatanddrink: A gentleman never eats his soup by soaking it into his tie and squeezing it out into his mouth
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@jewfacekilla: MTVs Teen Mom has been cancelled. At least one person on that network knows when to pull out.
@causticbob: A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..
@SlipperySecret: Guy knocking on bathroom door after sex: I think I love you. Me stringing tampons together, making a rope to climb out the window: Okay....
@_sweet_ham: Sometimes I put my workout gear on and watch tv because it's the thought that counts.