@darksidedeb: A giant lizard rebuilds Japan and the moonwalks into the sea. #ReverseAFilmPlot
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@AbbyHasIssues: I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
@KattsDogma: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is 'babe' Bee: B-A-E J: Sorry. There's another 'B' Bee: WHAT! WHERE? *goes crazy* *stings Judge* *dies*
@garrydavenport: If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them.
@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit