@gerryhallcomedy: A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
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@jctwritesstuff: Her: Can you babysit? Me: Uh, what do I do? H: Play games & stuff. M: Like drinking games? H: He's 2. M: H: M: So like no hard liquor or...?
@RobDenBleyker: If a woman asks you to guess her age, always subtract 10 years from your estimate. IMPORTANT: Do NOT do this if she's in her early twenties.