@gerryhallcomedy: A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
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@Shade510: * on my death bed Me: One thing I want you to do for me... Wife: Name it? Me: I want you to marry Larry. Wife: (pause)You sure? I thought you hated Larry? Me: I do.
@junejuly12: [on phone] Of course I trust you, babe. Always. *searches Amazon for mini spycams with 1-day shipping*
@DanMentos: "So we kill a tree" Ok "And put it inside our house" Nice "Then we hang up some socks" I'm with ya "And then we drink egg milk punch" What