@Kesse_GH: A Girl on Twitter, finally gave birth,Now she's been tweeting her baby pics every 20min & Makes me feel I am raising her child with my Data
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@rpbateman: This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote "sexy" on all of his wife's friends' pics.
@NotUrGumar: Whenever I feel like I'm a weirdo, I remember they put little panties on peaches in Japan & I don't feel so bad
@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*