@Kesse_GH: A Girl on Twitter, finally gave birth,Now she's been tweeting her baby pics every 20min & Makes me feel I am raising her child with my Data
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@Arrogant_Twat: My stomach just made a really weird noise. I’m sending a pizza down to check it out.
@DirtMcTurd: [Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue
@jordan_stratton: My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Baby, do that thing that makes me hot Me: *kisses her neck* H: *slaps me* I MEANT turn the thermostat up dummy, it's freezing in here