@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
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@AdamOfEarth: Roses are flowers, violets are flowers, I'd love you more if you had super powers.
@hippieswordfish: CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them