@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
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@ElayneBoosler: If George W. Bush was the president of France today, he would declare war on Finland.
@Soo_Scandalouss: I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand..
@mstluvstrinkets: Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to "make elephant! Now teapot!" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball.