@lwhit_the_boss: A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face.
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@OBiiieeee: one time my dad walked in on me smoking an E cig and made me eat a whole pack of batteries
@taitutu: Phone rang for the 1st time in 4 months. My reaction was similar to finding a dead mouse on my porch. I circled it & poked it with a stick.
@Dawn_M_: I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me.
@TheTweetOfGod: Sounds like @rickygervais is an arachnophobe, and you know what that means: Deep down inside, he's a spider.