@PretendMaker: A girl's tinder bio said "I would die without food" uh okay me too
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@bingowings14: Been to the hospital to get a mole checked. Apparently they all look like that & I should've just left it in its hole in the garden.
@AdriannaLaCervx: I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues.
@novicefather: I remember back when I had to charge my Nokia 8210 once every 96 days. My iPhone lost 4% just typing this tweet.