@PretendMaker: A girl's tinder bio said "I would die without food" uh okay me too
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@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Ugh, the coffee is too strong Me: There is no strong coffee. Just weak people.
@TimmyPumpkin: *takes a sip* this wine has a full body, hint of honey, and a rich pallet. "sir that's windex." yes, yes, ill take a bottle.