@PretendMaker: A girl's tinder bio said "I would die without food" uh okay me too
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@BeamishBoi: That 0.1% of bacteria that no household product can kill is what will inherit our earth
@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
@TheDairylandDon: Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust.