@zachreinert03: A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting in the cell right next to you, a worst friend framed both of you for murder.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@1Happytwit: I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work.
@ShoutingGoddess: Psst. Don't refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your 'team of writers'.
@girlontapas: My mom bought me a bottle of whiskey as a Xmas gift... She seemed a little upset that I said she should've mailed it ahead of her visit.