@peachgrenade: A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower
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@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is when I’m drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time...
@truegritrumble: COP: Are you armed? ME: *extremely good at talking myself into a beating* I’m armed and legged.