@peachgrenade: A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower
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@blasphe_me: I guess it's not socially acceptable to put my hand in the shape of a gun into my mouth in the middle of a conversation.
@LoriLuvsShoes: A CW told me for the 50th time that her baby learned how to walk so I told her"if you really wanna impress me lmk when it learns how to fly"
@WilliamAder: I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open.