@peachgrenade: A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower
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@chairmanMAO_92: This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said "I didn't know Pink used her last name as well" Now she's dead
@WongLipJun: Rules for rap battling Eminem: 1. Do not let Eminem go first. 2. Do not let Eminem go second.
@QwertyJones3: Good news: Your wit is really mind-blowing Bad news: It's not my mind that I want blown
@daemonic3: [at therapist] I don't know, sometimes I just feel invisible Therapist: WHO SAID THAT?!?