@LuvPug: A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller
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@abrianmc: I covered my gf with dough and raisins and put her in the oven to annoy her. Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed
@daemonic3: [pharmacy] "I'd like a refill for this bottle of pills" PHARMACIST: Would you like childproof? "No thanks, I already believe in children"
@ayyyyloser: "There's plenty of fish in the sea" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone.
@TheThomason: New Joker looks like he has the Memento disease and needs a bunch of tattoos to remind him he's the Joker.