@realHamOnWry: A good listener always watches you speak, makes eye contact and never lets on he's thinking about something else.
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@Mr_Kapowski: We should've cremated Michael Jackson in case of the zombie apocalypse or else people will think they're part of a Thriller flash mob
@Asbo_Unicorn: Unicorns have one horn and everyone says "ooh they're so magical" Cow's have 2 horns & no one cares even though they taste so much better
@juliussharpe: People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
@MythicPicnic: I feel bad for my Roomba, so every other day I vacuum while it sits on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.