@realHamOnWry: A good listener always watches you speak, makes eye contact and never lets on he's thinking about something else.
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@iheartgunts: Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" is the best ever song about a silent but deadly fart.
@GoldenSpirals: Creams that smell like fruit play with your brain. Tempted to eat my own leg. Smells like mango, but would probably taste like rare steak.
@EmmettScanlan: Mum: "OMG clean your room! This is MADNESS!" Me: "Madness?! NO... THIS IS SPARTA!!" *Kicks Mum*..