@heatherlou_: A "good parenting" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?
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@briangaar: Hey, did you ever get that job you talked about for weeks then abruptly stopped mentioning?
@NeinQuarterly: The #NSA walks into a bar. Bartender: "Got a new joke for you." NSA: "Heard it."
@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.