@Bearslietoo: A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card.
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@toastymoe: Bad news: I got so busy drafting tweets, I forgot to pick the kids up at school. Worse news: I'm a bus driver
@TheWoodenslurpy: I thought I saw Jesus in a cookie. But I was wrong. It was just a guy who looked like him.