@MikeCanRant: A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
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@andreeahluscu: I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been "whoa there chap"
@sofarrsogud: 4 AM BLADDER: Get up. You need to go STOMACH: And you're hungry BRAIN: Imagine if Hammer Time was a real time zone. We'd have to move there