@GrantTanaka: A good way to break up with a girl is to leave her a trail of rose petals starting from her front door to North Korea.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Swishergirl24: My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don't have to shovel snow this weekend.
@smashbrown_: Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. "Just leave, before they change their mind."
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: There are so many songs that tell us how to breathe. It's like musicians and songwriters have never heard of the autonomic nervous system.
@flashember: *plane crashes in ocean* *washes ashore island* *imprisoned by crabs* *rises to become Crab Emperor* *assassinated by most trustworthy crab*