@GrantTanaka: A good way to break up with a girl is to leave her a trail of rose petals starting from her front door to North Korea.
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@sploosk: my roofing company has gone bankrupt. I kept saying "this one's on the house" every time I finished a roof, how could i be so stupid
@merican_ninjy: I gave my wife a tip how she could wash the dishes better. On a side note, Dawn detergent is really starting to make my hands more soft.