@krissywillbretz: A good way to get kicked out of church is to shout "HOLE!" after every chorus of "Glory, Glory, Glory".
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@heatherlou_: Can’t afford the chiropractor so I’m just going to lay down in the road and hope for the best.
@ComedicBust: Me: How do think pirates said "booty" all the time without laughing? Mother-in-law: I begged my daughter not to marry you.
@biggarf: I wasn't good enough for you in high school but suddenly after 5 kids a husband and 3 boyfriends I'm starting to look good eh?