@krissywillbretz: A good way to get kicked out of church is to shout "HOLE!" after every chorus of "Glory, Glory, Glory".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MacAnnabella: My friend's offering to pay for a trip to NY to be her +1 for a wedding. She's probably going to drug me & sell my organs. *agrees to go :)
@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
@platinum2000: *At the Carnival* Me: How much for the petting zoo? Person: What? *Drunk at Walmart by the dressing rooms*