@weinerdog4life: A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds
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@AliyanShaikh: Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid.
@TheTweetOfGod: I am not fake. I am not a parody. I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, you cosmic dipshits.
@fabulouscop: [at doctor] can u cough for me please? *coughs* again please *coughs* i see i see. i'm afraid you have a cough