@pleatedjeans: A good woman is like home WiFi: Full of knowledge. Always there for you. Used by your roommate WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE THAT'S RIGHT AMY I KNOW
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@pinupteacher: Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby.
@robfee: Slash: Ok whats Paradise City like? Izzy: Pretty girls? "Yeah!" Axl: Nice lawns! "Huh?" Axl: Green grass! "Grass is alw-" Axl: JUST WRITE IT
@ThingsJackDigs: “You a cop?” UNDERCOVER COP: No. “So you wouldn't mind if I … threw these donuts away?” UC: *sweats profusely*
@MadameSnippy: I'm the only stalker I know with OCD. After I break in to watch you sleep, I fold your laundry.