Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@unbub_: a great headline for when there is a world wide fresh water shortage will be "water we gonna do??" we will need the laughs

a great headline for when there is a world wide fresh water shortage will be “water we gonna do??” we will need the laughs
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@EndhooS: interviewer: what can u bring to the firm me: [places a tiny cactus on desk & smiles] interviewer: I meant like clients me: [removes cactus]

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@MartaEffing: Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered.

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@T_Bonezzz: STEPS TO FOLD A FITTED SHEET 1) PUT SHEET ON BED 2) FOLD BED

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@noog: If you watch Wall-E backwards its about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people.

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