@WheelTod: A great summer prank is to park your car just outside the mall with a fully cooked ham in baby clothes strapped into a child seat.
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@ThisOneSayz: [At the pearly gates] Me: what was it like, watching my life from up here? Saint Peter: the book was so much better.
@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
@ObscureGent: I never took a drama class but everyone at this birthday believes that I love this gluten free cake.
@SlayerSays: Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable.