@WheelTod: A great summer prank is to park your car just outside the mall with a fully cooked ham in baby clothes strapped into a child seat.
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@Schmoodles: Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer.
@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion