@hello_saylor: A great vocabulary is such a turn on. A guy used the word "bifurcated" during a meeting and I almost threw my panties at him.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [out to eat with in-laws] Me: Waiter, your cheapest bottle of champagne Wife: Hey these are my parents Me: Waiter, 4 glasses of tap water
@shawnspree: You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed.
@Twtercide: Me: I have a date tonight. Friend: A guy coming over to install cable isn't a date. Me: *frowns* But I got a cheese platter....
@Darlainky: Poker is a game of pretending you've got something better than you really do. Poker sounds a lot like my marriage.