@hello_saylor: A great vocabulary is such a turn on. A guy used the word "bifurcated" during a meeting and I almost threw my panties at him.
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@SondraDeeMe: My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth.
@thepunningman: Cop: You already had your phonecall now state your name for the tape or you're going to jail Ivana Fonekaal: [looks at lawyer]
@GeauxSaints79: M: Are you gonna eat that baby? Lady: What!!?! Go away you Sick-O' M: Sorry! I saw you putting it on Instagram & figured.. Never mind.
@kcmoore51: Me: I made you a playlist... Her: OMG! THAT'S SO ROMANTIC! Me: It only has songs about food.