@Mobute: A gritty reboot of basketball where we find out all the players' moms were murdered by circles and that's why they throw rocks at one.
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@daemonic3: [on date] HER: I once broke up with a guy for saying "I could care less" ME: Haha that idiot [nervous] of course it's "I could care fewer"
@trevso_electric: The worst feeling is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are a pizza.
@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."
@mobydong: Wearing a wig is probably worth the hassle for those moments when you get to dramatically pull it off your weary, tearful head.