@theshamingofjay: A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment
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@Jenny4ashley: My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like "please untie me" and "just tell me who you are".
@Bad_Ass_Trucker: Women to the left of me Women to the right of me That's when I realized I was in the wrong bathroom
@shegotagronk: Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now.