@theshamingofjay: A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment
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@Old_Pat_Bren: Hey, Sean Bean, it's either Shaun Baun or Seen Been. You can't have it both ways.
@ValeeGrrl: Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing] 7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE Me: [sigh] Thanks bud.
@emmatheist: Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: 10: Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby? Me: Sweet girl, Mama has 4 kids. If we go right now it's probably to drop off.