@jakefromstfarm3: A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider.
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@jayonguitar: If your girlfriend offers to make you breakfast at 2 AM. She's probably not your girlfriend and your just drunk at Denny's again.
@ComedicBust: Me: Ugh, there's always issues with the wifi! Mexican grandfather: When I was 6, I fought a pack of wolves crossing the border to America.
@BruceForce: Day 1: Brad wears no pants Day 2: Brad wears no pants Day 3: Brad wears no pants ... ... This is just a bottomless Pitt