@BillPelicanBros: A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's Home...so I gave him my kids.
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@someniceflowers: "my son, can I ask why you're carrying two HUGE crucifixes?" Well father, I've been... Double-crossed *God starts breakdancing*
@GaryJanetti: I hope one day to have the chance to whisper "what's she doing here?" to the person next to me at a funeral.
@NotthatAdamWest: Finding Nemo 2? I swear, if that kid gets lost again Finding Nemo 3 better be where child services locks the dad up for extreme negligence.
@PantsDonkey: 1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin