@jsam1126: A guy on the street just said "nice feet" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?
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@murrman5: [in car with wife] "did you take $20 from my purse?" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*
@BrettDruck: They are making gluten free communion wafers now. I guess you eat them because they represent the beach-body of Christ.
@Social_Mime: Waiter - I'm Matt & I'll be taking care of you Me - You say that now Matt but what about when times get tough Wife - Give us a few minutes
@Parker_Simpson: I imagine it's pretty humbling for someone who's literally taking part in their first rodeo