@jsam1126: A guy on the street just said "nice feet" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?
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@robotmouthfarts: Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]
@HairyJew4Life: My girlfriend and I were making out on the sofa. Her: Ok let's take this upstairs. Me: Alright. You lift one end and I'll get the other
@GingerHotDish: The cabana boy was flirting with me at the pool, and my daughter told him he should go get some water if he was that thirsty. I can’t stop laughing.
@KyleMcDowell86: "Honey,can u make the dinner reservations for 3 instead of 2 tonight? Debby's coming" "We're not bring ur new chainsaw-" "HER NAME'S DEBBY"