@AristotlesNZ: A guy once told me life's too short to stress, but it turned out that life's much shorter for people who give advice to stressed out people.
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@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball
@Sarcasticsapien: The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time.
@bazecraze: A National Treasure where Nicholas Cage has to find the model number on a 15 year old dishwasher.