@BlondAmbitionTO: A guy said he fantasizes about me in a bathtub filled with Big Mac sauce and I said YOU'RE DISGUSTING AND DISTURBED and see you at 8, Brian.
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@3sunzzz: Dentists that pass out lollipops at the end of your child's dental cleaning, are passing out little pieces of job security.
@HumanPog: sometimes if i'm having trouble falling asleep i just pretend i'm watching lord of the rings
@carlyken: My work day has been like the movie Sound of Music. But with less singing. And more Nazis.
@filthyson: How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father