@Brianhopecomedy: A guy that was falsely imprisoned for 10 years got free tickets to the Super Bowl. That guy is SO lucky.
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1998. Sonny Bono was killed while skiing at Lake Tahoe nothing to do with him trying to leave Scientology nope nothing.
@JermHimselfish: I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back.
@UnicornSyrup: Don't say you want a girl who's "funny and spontaneous" if you're gonna panic when I knock on your window late at night, dressed as a clown.