@Brianhopecomedy: A guy that was falsely imprisoned for 10 years got free tickets to the Super Bowl. That guy is SO lucky.
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@MarfSalvador: [Party] Her: *Nervous* I don't know anybody Him: It's ok I'll introduce you *into mic* hailing from Detroit & weighing in at I dunno 180lb
@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...