@jenstatsky: A guy who wears a ring is always a dealbreaker. If it's on his ring finger, he's married. If it's not, he's a guy who wears rings.
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@jjhartinger: Hubs: Columbus discovered America not asking for directions so why do I. Me: He set out for India and went the wrong way. Hubs: Oh. Me: Yep.
@tastefactory: "I'm the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit" "Not anymore" New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon