@BoogTweets: Judas: *Sips wine* Great, water again, very funny Jesus:HAHA I got you! Judas: So glad this is our last supper Jesus: what? Judas: what?

@MrBob_52: First week of my diet I gained 3 pounds. However, I found out if I stand further away from the mirror I look thinner.

@DannyZuker: My son's soccer coach just said, "You can't spell "triumph" without 'try,'" and the look my son and I shared will bond us forever.

@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.

@Sir_Strange: *sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, "Awe"* *face melts* *responds, "We've been over this already, it's "Aww"* *deletes your number*