@robdelaney: A hand grenade to a daycare? RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______.
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@EndhooS: [Troy in the olden times] "WTF is that?" A wooden horse "It's not full of soldiers is it?" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK
@imence2: I always take my kids on vacation during drug awareness week...because there's just some things they should learn from their dad.
@WillSaysStuff: welcome back to guitar 101 everybody. what now, steve? uh, hey. are you gonna make the 'snapped my g-string' joke? no *steve leaves*
@flashember: WIFE: Will he ever wake up? DOCTOR: Only a shocking truth will do it W: i sold his pet hamster ME *eyes fly open* WHERE HAS THEODORE GONE