@dafloydsta: A hangover so good you crawl out of the bedroom naked and sleep for 6 more hours on the kitchen floor.
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@ManiacallySound: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding.
@AnOrangeSNES: If corporations are people then that's really gross because we walk inside of them all the time.
@AverageCorners: Me: Okay, bed time. Brain: I'm with you, man. I'm tired. Nose: GUYS I LEARNED HOW TO WHISTLE "PATIENCE" BY GUNS N' ROSES!
@HomeWithPeanut: I have a solar eclipse every two minutes inside my living room ever since my toddler learned how to open & close the blinds.