@krisv_723: A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it's filled with everyone's mother-in-laws.
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@MisterBombay: Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?
@BeerBatterBeard: You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now.