@iRowlf: A haunted house that has a room where a bunch of women ask you "Notice anything different about my hair?"
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@JaneBadall: My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas.
@Kyle_Raney: My mind says "no" but my heart says "yes", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud
@MichaelTrying: The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*