@cleverprime: A hearty round of applause for Starbucks, please.
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@thestlouisan: A young cephalopod breaks from the school. Swimming mightily, he strives to avoid becoming calamari. He has [looks at camera] squid goals.
@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.
@AdderallMomma: My mom took my child into a store and left me in line to wait for Santa by myself, so now I look like a narcissistic creeper-thanks mom.
@GrowlyGrego: YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME, CAROL. *grabs face* *whispers* You're goddamn right I have a few minutes to hear about your new pedometer.