@mdob11: A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
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@Beesthegame: Man: I'd like an order of buffalo wings Bartender: sorry, we don't serve food here *a sandwich that just walked in flips a table and leaves*
@SergioValenCo: If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
@david8hughes: [Bat symbol lights up Gotham's sky] "Gordon needs me, the city needs me." [Robin waving flashlight around] "Oh wow look they need me too."