@PastorMark: A hipster guy is one who kept his grandpa's clothes but lost his grandpa's work ethic.
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@3sunzzz: 5: You forgot my night-light! It keeps monsters away. Me: If a monster wants to get you, a 4 watt bulb won't stop him. Good night, Sweetie.
@jenniferfralic: The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
@LurkAtHomeMom: [Bucket Lists] 2003: 1. Visit Rome 2. Go skydiving 3. Run marathon 2017: 1. Eat sitting down 2. Wake up naturally 3. Finish painting foyer
@slimmy_shady: CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks.