@SadieSmithRoks: A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
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@YesImMatt: A woman could tweet "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I'm not dead ;)"
@Bagyants: I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like "Let's name it Rad!" and one guy was all "Let's dial that back a bit."
@noduffers: If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
@PerkyandSaggy: *Girl opens Xmas present* "Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?" "Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*