@SadieSmithRoks: A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
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@Bacon_Ball: Twitter was down for a couple of hours but I didn't panic at all. I dialed 911 and calmly told them "people are about to die". Then Hung up.
@juliussharpe: I believe in a woman's right to choose, except when it comes to picking what movie we should watch tonight.
@amydillon: [sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] "Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."
@Dutch_50: Newspapers are cool because you can cut out eye holes and spy on people. Try that with an iPad.