@SadieSmithRoks: A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
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@Bagyants: When a computer program says "Not Responding" I start texting it stuff like "Who are you with?" and "Just heard our song"
@afairiesweetear: the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago
@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I shout "PIZZA'S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself.