@WoodyLuvsCoffee: A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"
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@WeissBrandon: YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store.
@ArfMeasures: COP: So what happened? ME: He stole my watch & ran away down the road COP: Can you describe it? ME: It's like a big path that cars drive on
@sad_tree: *returns tent to Target* CASHIER: What was the problem? ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent