@MartaEffing: A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lakeanagirl: I knew my wife was having a bad day when she put her tampon behind her ear and couldn't find her cigarette.
@TheAlexP: Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read.
@Cpin42: According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.