@MartaEffing: A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else.
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@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
@fridaycandy: At a job interview: "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start?"
@chuuew: I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane.