@MartaEffing: A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else.
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@Dr_awfulpants: Congratulations on "obtaining" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge.
@WittySassBasket: I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'
@TheTweetOfGod: I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence.