@MartaEffing: A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise
@nickcreelman: Coworker: it's dark already Me: I know, Dan. I have eyes CoW: it's only 5 'o clock Me: I KNOW DAN CoW: it's early Me: THAT'S HOW EARTH WORKS
@AmishPornStar1: Wife: Did you eat an ENTIRE half-gallon of ice cream?!?! Me: It was getting freezer-burned. W: I just bought it today! Me: Crazy freezer.