@MartaEffing: A humpback whale pulling millions of krill into its mouth, but it's me at a party where they just served shrimp.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: Foreigner: I wanna know what love is.. Me: It's a feeling you get when.. Foreigner: I want you to show me.. Me: Ok, like wow. We just met
@HellisWorthit: I bet the worst part about kidnapping someone is knowing they are just sitting there in your trunk, judging your choice in music.
@Jandalize: I'm not saying I don't like you, but if you had an open wound I'd hand you a salt shaker.
@EndhooS: [Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* "There has to be a better way"