@MartaEffing: A humpback whale pulling millions of krill into its mouth, but it's me at a party where they just served shrimp.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TylerLinkin: Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now.
@generaldietz: [space station] me: *winks* let's get astronaughty her: seriously? me: honestly, the only reason i became an astronaut was to say that